Biography

Let me tell you about myself:  I'm thirty-two years old and I live in my dad's basement.  My dad is a cop, and he is married to his fourth wife.  I'm single and playing, which is a fancy way of saying that I'll have a wonderful collection of STDs to keep me company in my otherwise lonely golden years.

By trade, I'm a pizza cook.  I'm one of the most over-educated pizza cooks in the world.

I used to fix computers.  I fixed computers, and then wrote down procedural documents explaining in good and simple English how to keep them fixed.  Then I decided that that was a colossal waste of my time and talent, so I started making pizza.  

I'd made pizza before.  It seems I've been making pizza all my life.

But while I made pizza, I went to school.  It seems I've been going to school all my life too, but I'm done with it for now.  I got a BA in English, then I went on to get an MFA, all so that I could move back to Detroit and start making pizza. Again. 

When I'm not making pizza and screwing around, I write, and I write some damn good stuff - stuff so good that it's only a matter of time before someone else figures out that it's good and decides to pay me so much money that I won't have to make pizza.  Until that day, please feel free to give me money.