Dangerous Liaisons. Or Hobbies. Or whatever.

Gaming generally (40k, battletech, and D and D specifically) is probably my second or third biggest pastime.  I'm sure drinking beats it out just based on sheer quantity of time spent, and it might only be third if you consider reading and writing to be a pastime as opposed to basically my job.

Shooting is just sort of in the top ten.  I'm a good shot, but I'm no expert.  I'm only just starting to shoot at pistol matches this year, and I have to borrow a gun from my dad.  It's not exactly a burning passion of mine, but it's something I do for fun, and I do have a small collection of firearms. 

Let's put those two together, shall we:

I've got Prince Valiant hair, yes I do, won't give it up for anyone, note even you...

Last week, this Alabama adjunct allegedly (nice "condom journalism" there - allegedly, you're a douche) shot and killed three of her fellow professors when she was denied tenure. Presumably angry about having to park in the student lot for another year, she went on a rampage through the University of Alabama biology department and then, to really ice the cake, canceled her office hours.

But rather than focus on the obvious and understandable reason for Mz. Bishop's alleged snap (the pressures of the academy, publish or perish, apparently not liking brown people), the Boston Herald decided to point out that:

"campus killer Amy Bishop was a devotee of Dungeons and Dragons - just like Michael “Mucko” McDermott, the lone gunman behind the devastating workplace killings at Edgewater Technology in Wakefield in 2000."

I'm not linking to their article, because their old-media newspaper is not fit to line a bird cage, and I don't want them actually thinking that they've magically attracted readership.

 America has a sordid history of gaming and violence. 
 

Now, never mind the fact that by association, the readership of this blog and everyone I have ever met now thinks that I am a ticking timebomb waiting to go on some sort of murderous rampage and also that I am a virgin living in my mom's basement - the point of this post is that I deeply resent that two things I love (well, one thing I love and one thing I just kind of like) are being pointed to as nefarious.

It means bad - you can look it up if you want.


What the fuck does D and D have to do with anything?  The article (again, sparing you the trouble of reading illiterate drivel from a derp-tarded Bostonian "reporter") had to draw a comparison to this crime and another significantly more lethal crime that happened ten years before while making a tenuous connection in that both people played dungeons and dragons (the shooters also both wore clothes, and probably ate breakfast that day, since we're pointing out irrelevant detail sthat two people have in common) - never mind that Mz. Bishop played in the 1980's.  Apparently D and D is so traumatic that it can affect your fragile psyche 30 years after the fact.

Nevermind that the Wakefield killer, Michael McDermott, was very obviously a paranoid schizophrenic who'd been off his meds since, oh his entire life.  Nevermind that, allegedly, Amy Bishop killed her own brother with a shotgun in 1986 (probably thought he was an evil dark elf come to steal her platinum pieces). 

Per the DM's Handbook, this is worth 120 gold teeth, 1,200 silver teeth, or 12,000 copper teeth. 

No,  D and  D might attract crazy people, but it doesn't make them.  Coincidence is not causality. Admitting that you play D and D may get you some funny looks, but I think the culture at large has moved on from thinking that it means you can actually conjure up the power of Satan or anything to that effect.

Devil unavailable - son in law answers your seance.  Roll for initiative.

No, the more stigmatized hobby is doubtless that pertaining to firearms.  Folks on the right wing think I'm a fence-sitter for being a casual shooter and daring to think that *gasp* maybe I don't need to carry a gun every fucking single place I go.  Folks on the left think I'm some sort of brutal hillbilly or fascist survival nut for even daring to entertain the notion that it might be practical to defend myself.

Personally, this issue tires me so I'm just going to state my case:

When it comes to rights, I believe you use them or lose them.  A state can't give you rights, it can only take them away.  It's a lot harder to take away somebody's rights when they can shoot you.  Speaking of shooting people:  if you attempt to harm me or the people I love, or if you were to break into my home, I will blow your lungs out your back and only feel sorry for the cleaning lady who has to scrape you off my wall.  I don't give a shit what your motive was, if it was your first assault / robbery, whatever - it's your last.


Granola hippies, you are never going to get guns off this planet, or out of this country - not without some sort of draconian bullshit like we're beginning to see in Brittain and Australia.  Those governments you're trusting to take care of everything?  That's who we were shooting 230 years ago.  Why do you think they're suddenly all helpful and benevolent - because they're elected?  Cool - now tell me about big corporations and campaign finance reform.  

 Not likely to shoot back.  Or hold a job.

Contrarily, shut the fuck up rednecks - your constant blathering about armed societies being polite societies is completely at odds with your romantic (and false) notion of the wild west that you jerk off to, and the harsh reality of life in the cities of Detroit and Baghdad, both of which you refuse to go to for fear of (gasp!) getting shot.  I know it seems really simple on paper to just shoot everyone who would commit a crime against you (see paragraph above), but basically that's how Africa happened.  And Mexico.  And South Central LA. And the Middle East.

 Obama is not coming to steal your Thomas Kinkade commemorative plates

We have guns, guns kill people.  Neither fact is going to change in my lifetime.  America has the tiger by the tail on this one.  It's nearly impossible to get anything resembling reliable statistics on gun crime in this country, but it pretty much seems to be higher than all of the first world and just barely under most of the third.  This is justification  for gun haters to call for a ban, and for gun nuts to call for more munitions for self defense.

I don't like to politicize it, but I sleep with a Mossberg under my bed, and I encourage everyone to do the same. Whether you do it for personal protection, the principle of exercising your rights, or the idea that one day we may have to all form some sort of well-regulated militia to ensure the security of this free state, I say only:  citizen, army thyself - and roll for initiative.

.357 versus 25mm