In the most severe recession in 20 years, there's a very good chance that I'm going to quit my job.
This is me, every day, but not as hot, but definitely punching myself in the face
Of course, this implies I've not already been fired from said job. I'm learning the rather roundabout hard way that I'm not much of an editor. My boss is evidently the kind of person that enjoys crossing T's and dotting I's. I have come to detest it.
As most of my ex-girlfriends will tell you, I've got a screw loose. I don't mind too much - the only thing damnable about the business is that the screw holds in the part of my brain that's supposed to want to grow up and get a job and a house and a nice car and all that crap.
We all have differing ideas of a good life
This is not to say I'm unambitious - when given my druthers, my creative output is tremendous. I write and I paint to the exclusion of most anything else including meals and sleep, and when I finally crash I get that "restorative, vitamin-packed sleep" (to quote Phillip Roth) that is usually reserved for athletes and dogs.
But for the last 6 months or so I've not had my druthers, so I've been busting my ass doing exactly what I told myself I wouldn't do, which is (and I quote from my now essentially defunct LJ):
...all I really wanted to do was come back here and work at something like Buddy's while I continued to send out submissions and work on my game. I didn't want to make a nice middle-class salary in exchange for 40 hours a week.
In short, I did not want to go back to the exact same shit that I left when I went back to school six years ago.
There are worse things for an artist than a job that just expects you to show up, and there are many better things for an artist than a steady and comfortable paycheck...
Lest anyone think this is another UAFNWFSUTGI, let me straighten that out: If you can work a day job and still meet your social, personal, and creative goals, fucking do it.
This came up in a Google search for "Starving Artist." I DARE you to make less sense.
Me myself personally - I either can't or won't and it's all the same. The more I work at this the more I hate it. The more I hate it, the more bored I get. The more bored I get, the more mistakes I make.
That's not necessarily a reflection on the job. I'm no edi-phobic - some of my best friends are editors! But at present, the idea of balancing this out with the dreamer's life I've committed to seems unlikely.
No good pictures - here's Allison Stokke
Now I know the usual suggestions in this case, and they go something like this (my responses follow):
1) Suck it up, buttercup - that's what being an adult is all about.
A - Well that sounds like shit to me, and also your hard time for buying a house and marrying the first girl you knocked up.
2) You should definitely have something else lined up first.
A - Here's a better idea: how about I DON'T line something else up first, and just go get really drunk instead.
3) What about just cutting back at work or something?
A - This is a big maybe - the problem with something like this is that as soon as you give an inch, someone wants a mile. My buddy Franky the Sinister Ninja is in on this gig too, doing it in his spare time, and there's this ever-mounting pressure to deliver more, more more...so I don't know. Would this be better if I went back to the way it was before and just delivered what I could, when I could? I don't know. At present it looks like a 2-6 week phase out as I meet my contractual obligations for the month.
In short, I know I come across as reckless and impulsive, but I swear on the most holy Quran of merciful Allah that I've thought this through, and the more I think, the less I give a fuck. I'm probably spoiled by the academy, but so what? We all want what we want, and it's up to us to take it.
Stupid serious post - here's GARFIELD on a COMPUTER - What will that fat cat get in to next? LOLO!!111one
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