Blutwurst - breakfast of champions
Here, again, it's really, really helpful to speak the language of the country you are visiting, but I'll tell you what: just speak another language and you'll be much better off than if you didn't. The people of the country in which they speak your second language will just be all kinds of flattered that you made the effort, and the people of the countries that neighbor that country will at least be familiar enough with your second tongue** to point you in the right direction. The point being that when you are an American who speaks a second language, people abroad want to do you favors.
Except for Belgium, which is a toilet.
A typical Belgian
Remember that you should be looking for a hostel with a refrigerator - one that lets you keep food with you, so that you can buy groceries and then eat just as well as you do at home which, well, come to think of it, you're probably a big fat cheeseburger-sucking American and you're going to go to the grocery store and come back with 8 tubes of pringles and a stick of butter, then wash it down with a gallon of milkshake before complaining about the small European portion sizes, so let's look at your alternatives.
America won the so-called Culture Wars a long time ago. As I've said before, everyone wears blue jeans and drinks coca-cola, and never mind that me and a bunch of other snobs will go on and on about how European coke is so much better than American because they don't use high fructose corn syrup (it's true), the point is that Brand America is a big deal. This means that in all but the most rural backwards towns, your freedom-loving fat American ass can walk into a McDonalds and shovel in a tray of cheeseburgers. Yes, by the way, they do serve beer at German McDonalds. No, it's actually not worth drinking.
Shalom-a-size it for just a shekel more
So as you travel on the cheap, the dollar menu remains your friend just as it does in America, though there are better options. Thanks to the massive influx of Arabs, Europe is dotted with cheap Donner joints. In America we'd just call it gyro or, if you're really cosmopolitan, souvlaki, but it's something a bit different for all that: It's a hot pita, a greasy helping of spitted mystery meat, and a load of vegetables, and it costs about 3 Euro (4.50 US). I've seen it sell for as low as 2, and as much as 5, but it's still a poor traveler's best friend - bread, meat, and vegetables all for a pittance.
The reason you subject yourself to such greasy cheep food for 2 meals out of the day is so that you can actually enjoy the third. See? I wasn't going to tell you to go "Freegan" or anything like that - I'm encouraging you to get out and get some culture, and a big part of culture is food. Going to Germany and not getting Schweineshaxe and beer is like going to Seattle and not drinking coffee, or going to Detroit and not getting stabbed. If you can cook for yourself for 2 meals, you can have one hell of a third and still keep your costs below what you would at home.
Don't do this
Travel is all about going out and seeing how other people do things, and for me a large part of that is seeing how they do the same sort of things I do at home. That means that I spend a lot of my travel time drinking (that being what I do at home, after all). I say this now only to answer the last question of travel: What do I do when I get there?
The answer is: do what you normally would. It's really easy to get caught up in sight-seeing, and sight-seeing is certainly fun, but if that's all you do then you'll be missing a lot of the experience. Consider that if you go to Paris, you can see Notre Dame Cathedral - well, Notre Dame isn't going anywhere, but the people around it are. Plus, to be honest, unless you're really into art studies or cultural theology, most of Notre Dame is going to be lost on you. Is it big and pretty? Yes, but so what? It's a Cathedral - it's supposed to be big and pretty, but also dark, scary, and confusing - you're supposed to walk away going "OMG Jeebus is so BIG!" which is probably what's going to happen to you. Is that really how you want to spend your week in Paris?
Yup, still there
When you travel, get out and meet people. Go to the places where people go, and not just boring ass tourists - go to local bars, local clubs, and local restaurants. Get dirty, watch the locals - walk around and do nothing. Big touristy things are fine, and there are plenty of them that you should do and enjoy if you think you'll regret it, but mostly the best thing about going somewhere else is getting good and drunk with the people you find.
Because tourism is objectification - going straight for the things you can take pictures of tells the people around you that you don't care about them and what they're doing, only what people that died at least 100 years ago have done. The people around you become obstacles in your way to an attraction, and to me, that's no way to live and no way to consider people. Believe me - the people living in the shadows of those monuments are by far more dynamic and exciting than the monuments themselves.
Having addressed travel, accommodation, food, and entertainment, I think I've given a nice overview to anyone thinking of taking the plunge and going abroad. Of course this has made me hugely nostalgic for other places I've been and, wouldn't you know it, just as I run out of money - but lest we think travel is all about going to strange new worlds and seeking out new civilizations, it's also about going out, meeting, seeing, and experiencing. In that regard, a trip to another city can be as rewarding as a trip to another country so long as you undertake that trip with open-minded joie de vivre and at least a half gallon of gin.
I am Magneto - this is my home
* That's what she said
** That's also what she said
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